Question & Answers

Question #1:

UMMM, ok, at what point in your relationship/marriage is it ok to fart during sex and never skip a beat/hump/thrust?

Answer:

NEVER

Question #2:

UMMM, ok, why do I say UMMM so much?

Answer:

It's a stall tactic because your question is so extremely boring and stupid I'm trying not to show my angst and disgust to you. Stupid, stupid little man ... get with the program. And I write it a lot when I'm in conversation because I like hitting the "m" soooo much. You see, I think it's the beginning of a mental disorder. I'll name it "Repeater Syndrome." See, I did it with the "soooo" on this line and I did not even realize it. I know, it's a vicious cycle. I can just see my future: "Hello, UMMM, my name is Marian and I'm, UMMM, a repeater."

Question #3:

Why do people I do not even know get under my skin and make it crawl?

Answer:

I'm a very intolerant person. I'm intolerant of others idiosyncrasies, except of course mine, my husband's and my children; other than that it's just annoying and at no point does it ever become "cute" with me. And get this ... some people are just ugly. They are as ugly on the inside as they are on the outside. People always feel so sorry for old people because, well, because they're freakin old. Well, get this people, I'm on to them. They are not going to use their age to get away with murder (and they d0). I have heard more old women say mean thing than I've ever heard from any other age group. They think because they are old they can say whatever is on their mind. So, I'm on to them. From now on I will say what's on my mind before I get old so no one can say "Bless her heart, she's just old." Nah, give it up. I'm going to say them because I'm mean, not old, just mean. And then when I do get old they can say "Nah, she's been like that for years."

Question #4:

Why do I feel I can rant on here and say all these things I know I'm never actually going to say to anyone?

Answer:

Because I can.

Question #5:

What up with question #1?

Answer:

Just wondering.

OK, here's something for my ADD. Our bookstore (Barnes & Noble) has a, ummm, let's say "little person" i.e. midget, working there. OK, that freaks us all out. My little one loves to see her and comes running all around the bookstore to find me to tell me "I found her." Then when I see her I get all excited and have to go find my other child, my nephew, my sister, and then we're all standing there just staring. We need to get a life right? Right. Let's get this straight, we do not seek her out to make fun or ridicule but to make a comparison. See, my sister is 4'9" and she thinks she's normal. I, on the other hand, believe she is freakishly short and stubby and scares most people. She finds this other person cute, yet so freakishly mesmerizing, because she's only maybe 2 inches taller!! I believe it's the whole oxymoron because one is "classified" as a Little Person and one is classified as "freakishly short and stubby" in my book.