Musings for Today...

OK, so this funny thing happened on the way home the other day. I called my older sister whose opinion I rely on for everything. I had one of those life-altering questions for her: "Do you want to buy some girl scout cookies?" Well, I was driving down the highway and was distracted and dialed her number, which she lives in Louisiana, so I hear this person/man/woman/androgynous being on the end say:

Androgynous Being: "Hello." (Immediately I thought "SHIT!" I punched in the wrong number.")

Me: "Is Christene there?"

Response: "Um, this is her."

I did not believe her it was her. I thought I had just dialed the number to a smoking emphysema patient and they wasted their last few good breaths of oxygen on my wrong number. Guilt began to set in.

Me: "Christene?"

Response: "Yes."

Me: "What the hell.... Oh my God, I thought I dialed an emphysemic (is that even a word) smoker. you sound HORRIBLE!"

Nothing but silence and laughing for about a minute after that. Even her laugh sounded all rough, you know, like a lesbian whose the man in the relationship.

I thought I was talking to a man. Or a friend of ours who actually does have emphysema and smokes! She sounded like a woman who really, really wants to be a man and took way tooooo many testosterone injections.

We just died laughing. I was cracking up so much I almost peed in my pants, in my car! (well, actually, maybe a little did come out). She'd been really sick and her voice was all deep and congested. I told her it sounded a little raspy, kind of sexy, you know, like Melissa Etheridge and she should take full advantage of this opportunity to talk all nasty, sexy to her husband. It was sooo funny. I cannot possibly begin to explain what it sounded like but it was hilarious because she usually has this really sweet, high-pitched voice.

Anyway, it made me start thinking about doing phone sex. I think they make a lot of money, I could do it from home, and, and, the best part is that I'd get paid for doing something I like to do -- talk about sex. I digress, but actually it has entered my mind. Brent's all for it if he can get a new Harley out of the deal! (See attached image at the top of this post of a professional phone sex operator). Now that's an obtainable goal.

Well, officially the kids are off school today for MLK Day/Teacher Work Day. Whatever, as long as we're all home I feel comfy. The boys and Brent are trying out the new soccer goals which I guess is kind of weird considering they just got signed up for baseball. Santa brought them a pitching machine which they've only used once so I told Liam he really needs to start practicing with the machine and special bat thingy that helps them learn how to bat correctly. Anywho, that's like talking to a brick wall.

I read this thing about blogs and for the life of me I can't remember where but it was about a survey and how people responded. Well, it seems they are tired of the usual boring stuff and how people just use their blogs as a way to brag about what Timmy/Tommy did and do you know what I have to say to the "surveyed" people -- who gives a crap what you think? It's my blog or their blog or whoever's blog and they can write/do/say whatever the friggin' hell they want. Um, I guess that's why they created their blogs. I don't care who does/does not want to hear about my family stuff, I write this stuff as a cathartic outlet, a mental release and its easier than journaling most of the time. So to all the "Negative Nancy's" out there, "Tough Shit." You don't want to read these mom blogs about normal family happenings, then Don't! They're probably bitter DINKS* anyway and are pissed off because we're actually living out our dreams, even if they are simple dreams like marrying your best friend, having a couple of kids, obtaining that dreaded mortgage and waking up every morning thanking God that He has bestowed such gifts upon me. Comments appreciated.

Ciao!

* Double Income No Kids